So you’re out on your own now, and you’ve decided to throw your very own Thanksgiving party. Before long, your guest list begins to look suspiciously like your Friday night roleplaying roster. Maybe you should reconsider while there’s still time.
Without further adieu, I present a dozen ways you know it’s a traditional D&D Thanksgiving:
1. Before anyone will sit down, you have to remove the napkin rings from the table to assure your guest that you’re not beginning a new Tolkien campaign. The Elf still eyes you warily throughout the meal.
2. Your friend who traditionally plays the GM insists on sitting behind a game screen at the head of the table.
3. Twenty minutes into grace, you make a note to yourself never to give the Lawful Good Paladin a turn again.
4. The Barbarian loudly protests that it isn’t the Mage’s place to carve the Turkey.
5. After you ignore the Barbarian’s protests, you’re hit with a butter knife in the side of the head, when he recalls his “proficiency” with the throwing knives. You forcefully remind your friend that his character is proficient, he isn’t.
6. After you’ve removed the rest of the knives from the table, the Barbarian proceeds to mutter through the meal that “the beast hasn’t been dealt a proper killing blow.”
7. Suddenly, you hear the unmistakable sound of dice hitting the table and your DM shouts, “The Dwarf is choking!”
8. When someone finally does choke from laughing with his mouth full, the party insists the Cleric be the one to perform the Heimlich maneuver.
9. The Cleric insists on waiting on the outcome of the roll before actually preforming the Heimlich maneuver.
10. Every time you go to take the last spoonful of something, someone else insists on a saving throw.
11. When it’s time for dessert, you discover the Jello smeared across the kitchen floor and the Halfling proudly proclaiming that he has single-handedly vanquished the Gelatanous Cube. The pie remains unaccounted for.
12. After a fight breaks out, you finally have to insist that the XP isn’t being assigned according to who ate the most.
“A Dozen Ways you know it’s A Traditional D&D Thanksgiving!” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice remains intact. Copyright 2006 Pipedreamergrey.