The Great Geek Manual

Click to Enlarge

Now that Harry Potter’s been put to bed, it’s back to lampooning the rest of the fantasy genre!

Read the rest of this entry » » »

My Friday night D&D game in ten lines…

10. Why does all of our reconnaissance consist of rumors overheard in a bar?
9. Must be, I don’t see any other caves reeking of doom.
8. In a first-level dungeon?!!
7. I didn’t think those traveled in hordes.
6. … or so quietly.
5. I missed with a hard 20?
4. There’s a Trollish ring of fire immunity?
3. But I’m already dead!
2. Put what in where?
1. We’re all dead! Stop describing it!!!

Who needs a social life with a DM like that?
Still, it’s funny how the game manages to take up the entire night.

---

“My Friday night Game in Ten Lines” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice and its associated hyperlink remains intact. Copyright 2007 Pipedreamergrey.

Source: The HaHa.nu Blog

I came across this hilarious list at Hawty McBloggy’s blog. I think that they’re freaking brilliant, though I’m don’t think that I’ll be trying them out anytime soon. There are a few too many dudes masquerading as chicks for swag in virtual worlds these days for my taste. That and most of the chicks who are really chicks in world would kick my ass if I tried these.

I think something is wrong with my auto-aim. I can’t take my eyes off you.
This is one of those sickeningly cutesy lines. Very sweet and at least there is a zero chance you will get slapped.

Do you need a Magnum because I’ve got one right here for you. In my pants.
If you are going to use this line, you better have something large to back it up. You whip out something that does the damage of a H2 needler and there is going to be disappointment. The ladies want the long barrel.

As soon as I came near you, the announcer said “unfreakinbelievable” and I would tend to agree.
Another one that won’t be taken offensively. You will have a better chance of this line bringing success if you are actually on a killing spree. The ladies love a man with some serious skills.

Are we playing Assault? Cause I’m pretty sure you are the bomb.
This one is likely to get a cheesy response but inside she will be giggling. It may help if you say it kinda gangster. Da BOMB yo!
Read the rest of this entry » » »

It seems that not everyone appreciated the end of the Harry Potter series.

Source: WaffleBox

Evidently, I’m not the only person out there sick to death of the Harry Potter media blitz. Just give us our damn books already!

Source: Brotherhood 2.0

So, the big day is nearly here. In just under fourty-eight hours, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows will be unleashed upon the world, and for just a few short hours, the world will be a quieter, more peaceful place as millions upon millions of fans lock themselves away to do a little reading. Well before the unveiling, I, like half the Internet, wish to make my own predictions as to how the saga of Harry Potter will end.

Voldemort devises his most fiendish plot yet: “Accio Harry Potter’s Brain!”

Harry is killed on the way back to Hogwarts when Winki gets behind the wheel of a certain Ford Anglier drunk.

Draco Malfoy finally comes to his senses, buys himself a .45, and shoots Harry Potter in the head with his father. It’s fun.
Read the rest of this entry » » »

So, you’ve probably seen this simple flowchart that demonstrates how a Dungeons & Dragons game works, right? It made the rounds of popular blogs, such as Boing Boing months ago. Well, it’s been sitting on my hard drive every since, and the more I look at it, the more I’m convinced that this flowchart doesn’t even capture the tip of the iceberg. I mean, seriously, since when do roleplayers like anything to be simplified?

So, I decided to create my own version of the flowchart. It’s a bit large, but it makes a great desktop! Below, you can download it as a .pdf file or as a .jpg to use as a desktop with or without a nice fantasy map background. The .jpg files come are all 1280×1024, but four of them provide space for your taskbar, whether it’s one row high or two.
Read the rest of this entry » » »