The Great Geek Manual

So what romantic feature is Hollywood treating us to this Valentines Day?

Why, the remake of the 1980 horror classic Friday the 13th, of course. I mean, what could be a better conclusion to a quiet, candle-lit meal and a bit of theater than a blood-curdling slasher flick?

Damn you once again, Hollywood.

Slightly less gore-filled, but likely just as inappropriate is the The International, starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts. This film looks to be a political thriller. Meaning, fellows, that if your date has any input, you’re likely in for the chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic or last week’s releases, Coraline or He’s Just Not That Into You.

Video Releases

Against The Dark
Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. On the post apocalyptic globe, sucked dry by bloodthirsty vampires, a few remaining survivors are trapped in an infected hospital. Tao is their only hope and he knows the only cure is execution. Now it’s time for the last stand against the flesh-eating vampires and there’s nothing left to lose but the last of humanity.
Starring: Steven Seagal
Length: 94 minutes
Rating: R

Blindness
Based on Jose Saramago’s much-loved novel of the same name, BLINDNESS around the plight of a doctor and his wife caught in a blindness epidemic in an unnamed city that forces the government to put citizens in quarantine. Unable to conceive of life without him, the doctor’s wife feigns blindness and joins him in the grimy high-security institution where infected citizens are kept. The film follows their attempt to survive in the rotting facility, which quickly falls into disrepair and chaos.
Starring: Maury Chaykin, Danny Glover, Julianne Moore, Don McKellar
Length: 120 minutes
Rating: R
Read the rest of this entry » » »

Fox has released a new teaser trailer for X-Men Origins: Wolverine on MySpace.com. Disappointingly, it doesn’t look like it’ll be following the Origin: The True Story of Wolverine miniseries, which is too bad, because that was one solid piece of writing. The movie, starring Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber, opens May 1, 2009.

As if I weren’t already stoked about another film from Henry Selick, director of The Nightmare Before Christmas, they keep reminding me of what’s coming. First, their promotions department reminded me of their the upcoming Coraline with a Halloween pumpkin and now they’ve sent me a Thanksgiving pie.

Not that I’m complaining! The best blog swag I ever got before this was an offer for ten percent rebate offer on Viagra left in my comments. Now, I’ve got a delicious blog pie to remind me to go to the movie I was already going to be in line for opening night. *Nom nom nom* I seriously wish more films were promoted this way.

At least now when the little kids shoot me dirty looks while we’re all waiting in line to get into the theater, I can justify myself with a “They sent me PIE!”
Read the rest of this entry » » »

The latest trailer for the adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Coraline, directed by Henry Selick. It looks to be another animated classic like The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Geeks take cover! It’s going to be a rough weekend at theaters. Not even the testosterone fest that is Quantum of Solace will be enough to counter-balance the millions of teenage girls who will be flooding theaters this weekend to see Twilight (PG-13) or the squealing hordes of nose-pickers that poor in to see the latest animated offering, Bolt (PG).

Video Releases

• Wall-E (G)

Television

• Bones: Season 3
• Complete Monty Python Flying Circus
• Doctor Who: The Complete Fourth Series
• Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 3

Re-Releases & New Formats

• 300 [Collector's Edition]
• Zombie Diaries [WS]

Read the rest of this entry » » »

Movie: “Quantum of Solace”

Rating: Rated PG-13 for intense violence and action, some sexual content.
Release: November 14
Running Time: 1 hr 35 min
Starring: Daniel Craig, Mathieu Amalric, Olga Kurylenko, Gemma Arterton, Judi Dench… IMDB listing

Verdict: Daniel Craig falls far short of his processors in the role of Bond and I was heart-broken that there was no scene with Q or some other gadget guy, but Quantum of Solace has all the marvelously cliche thrills you’ve come to expect from the James Bond franchise, so goes down as a “must see” in my book.

Seriously, I don’t know why you’re even reading a review. Every straight male under sixty and over ten in the western world is going to see this film at some point in the next eighteen months. Just give in, and go see it on the big screen where it was meant to be seen, already!

Synopsis:
Picking up just hours after the end of the previous Bond film, Casino Royale, Bond’s turns his captive, Mr. White over to M, only to have him assassinated right under their nose. Bond’s only link to truth regarding his fallen lover Vesper is a hotel room number linked to the dirty agent who pulled off the assassination.

Striking out on his own, Bond pursues the lead to Haiti in search of the mastermind behind the secret organization of which White spoke before dying. There, driven by a need to unravel the truth behind Vesper’s death, he kicks off a rocky relationship with a mysterious maiden in distress, is forced to flee MI6 agent, and is drawn deeper into the mysterious organization plotting to exploit the planet’s most precious natural resource.
Read the rest of this entry » » »

Movie: “Let the Right One In”

Taglines: Based on the bestseller from John Ajvide Lindqvist

Rating: Rated R for bloody violence, disturbing images, brief nudity, and language.
Release: October 24, 2008
Running Time: 114 mins
Starring: Kåre Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, and Per Ragnar… IMDB listing

Verdict:
Let the Right One In is neither a fairy tale nor an Underworld-style action flick, no matter what you read in other reviews. Far from it, this is a delicate but chilling coming of age tale fraught with disturbing sexual overtones and paced to lend it a dream-like quality that is going to haunt you for days.

Audience:
Anyone who enjoyed Guillermo del Toro’s The Devil’s Backbone and The Orphanage or the 1994 film Interview with the Vampire should rent this film and carefully savor it. It takes more patience than that of your run-of-the-mill film, but the payoff is significantly greater.

Those looking for a post-Halloween slasher flick will be gravely disappointed.

Synopsis:
Oskar is a lonely twelve year-old school boy who spends his life alternatively dreading the abuse a trio of school bullies heap upon him and fantasizing of revenge. When a strange young girl named Eli moves in next door, the two outcasts slowly form a deep bond. As a series of gruesome murders threatens the safety of the community, Oskar finds himself entranced with the girl’s eccentricities and completely smitten. But when Eli’s father is arrested by police for his possible connection to the killings, her dark secret is finally revealed and Oskar must cope with the both the bizarre truth and the fact that she must leave him.
Read the rest of this entry » » »

A longer trailer for the Half-Blood Prince has hit the interwebs, and this one is even darker than the shorter version. This film is about half a step from a Tim Burton film, which leaves me with seriously high hopes for the seventh installment.