The UK Sun reported yesterday that Tom Cruise is the new “Christ”� of Scientology. Yes, it’s true. I don’t think that I could have made that up if I tried. You can read the story for yourself below or at The Sun Online.
I, for one, am pissed as hell. Of all the idiotic notions to come out of Scientology, this has to be the stupidest. What disgusts me is that this morning I’ve had to read this headline no fewer than four times during my morning news surf, in addition to hearing it on the radio and CNN. If you’re going to compare someone to Christ, the least you could do is have a little sense of humor about it. Maybe you should even consider nominating someone whose Christ-hood might accomplish something useful, such as shining some much needed attention on some great literature that has been marginalized by the mainstream.
So, I nominate Stephen King as Christ of the Cthulhu Mythos. That’s right. Stephen King has done more to proliferate the much neglected horror genre than any other author in history, and with that proliferation, the Cthulu Mythos has thrived.
Yeah, the Cthulhu mythos is just a series of stories written by a middle-aged white guy in early half of the last century about ancient, unfathomable aliens who subtly influence the actions of modern men after being stranded deep within the Earth in the far distant past, but so is Scientology! So what the heck. King for Christ!
To promote the notion, I’ve started an online petition to officially nominate Stephen King for Christ-hood! When I’ve collected an impressive number of signatures, I’ll submit the petition to The Sun, so that they can devote a few more words to a story that will leave their readers with a little smile, rather than leaving them nauseous.
The petition is online at Petition: http://www.petitiononline.com/Kingfor1/petition.html Go over and sign the online petition if, like me, you believe:
1. Scientology is a joke
2. Tom Cruise is a jackass
3. Scientology and Tom Cruise get waaay too much media coverage
4. The Cthulhu Mythos rocks
5. Stephen King is the most popular horror author of all time
Excerpt from the Petition:
To demonstrate the preposterous nature of the comparison between Tom Cruise and Christ, we are nominating a Christ for the Cthulhu Mythos to promote the comparison between Scientology and the Cthulhu Mythos. The Christ that we have chosen to nominate is Stephen King.
TOM Cruise is the new “Christ”� of Scientology, according to leaders of the cult-like religion.
The Mission: Impossible star has been told he has been “chosen”� to spread the word of his faith throughout the world.
And leader David Miscavige believes that in future, Cruise, 44, will be worshipped like Jesus for his work to raise awareness of the religion.
A source close to the actor, who has risen to one of the church’s top levels, said: “Tom has been told he is Scientology’s Christ-like figure.
“Like Christ, he’s been criticised for his views. But future generations will realize he was right.”�
Cruise joined the Church of Scientology in the ’80s. Leader L Ron Hubbard claimed humans bear traces of an ancient alien civilisation.
Source: The Sun
Blogger’s Note: No, I’m not crazy. I’m just sick to death of seeing Tom Cruise in the news all the time and need a little blog content. Please don’t send flamemail supporting Scientology, I’ll just make fun of you, too.
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