So what romantic feature is Hollywood treating us to this Valentines Day?
Why, the remake of the 1980 horror classic Friday the 13th, of course. I mean, what could be a better conclusion to a quiet, candle-lit meal and a bit of theater than a blood-curdling slasher flick?
Damn you once again, Hollywood.
Slightly less gore-filled, but likely just as inappropriate is the The International, starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts. This film looks to be a political thriller. Meaning, fellows, that if your date has any input, you’re likely in for the chick flick Confessions of a Shopaholic or last week’s releases, Coraline or He’s Just Not That Into You.
Video Releases
Against The Dark
Katana master Tao (Steven Seagal) leads a special ops squad of ex-military vigilantes on a massacre mission, their target: vampires. On the post apocalyptic globe, sucked dry by bloodthirsty vampires, a few remaining survivors are trapped in an infected hospital. Tao is their only hope and he knows the only cure is execution. Now it’s time for the last stand against the flesh-eating vampires and there’s nothing left to lose but the last of humanity.
Starring: Steven Seagal
Length: 94 minutes
Rating: R
Blindness
Based on Jose Saramago’s much-loved novel of the same name, BLINDNESS around the plight of a doctor and his wife caught in a blindness epidemic in an unnamed city that forces the government to put citizens in quarantine. Unable to conceive of life without him, the doctor’s wife feigns blindness and joins him in the grimy high-security institution where infected citizens are kept. The film follows their attempt to survive in the rotting facility, which quickly falls into disrepair and chaos.
Starring: Maury Chaykin, Danny Glover, Julianne Moore, Don McKellar
Length: 120 minutes
Rating: R
Chocolate
A young autistic woman named Zen has developed uncanny martial arts skills by watching television, and from living next door to a Muay Thai academy. Zen has uncanny reflexes and is able to catch balls thrown without even looking. When she sets out to settle her ailing mother’s debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money, extreme violence ensues.
Starring: JeeJa Yanin, Ammara Siripong, Hiroshi Abe
Length: 110 minutes
Rating: R
Miracle at St. Anna
Four black soldiers of the all-black 92nd Infantry Division get trapped near a small Tuscan village on the Gothic Line during the Italian Campaign of World War II after one of them risks his life to save an Italian boy. The story is inspired by the August 1944 Sant’Anna di Stazzema massacre perpetrated by the Waffen-SS in retaliation to Italian partisan activity. There is also a reference to a sculpted head from Ponte Santa Trinita in Florence that acts as a plot device.
Starring: Michael Ealy, Pierfrancesco Favino, Omar Benson Miller, Matteo Sciabordi, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Valentina Cervi, Laz Alonso, John Leguizamo, Derek Luke
Length: 160 minutes
Rating: R
My Name is Bruce
Guan-di (Jamie Peck), the Chinese god of war and protector of the dead, has been unleashed by cemetery desecrating teenagers to protect the graves of Chinese miners lost in a deadly cave-in of yesteryear. B Movie Legend Bruce Campbell is mistaken by the town people for his character Ash from the Evil Dead trilogy and forced to fight the monster in the small mining town in Oregon.
Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Richard Dreyfuss, Josh Brolin, Bruce McGill, Stacy Keach, James Cromwell, Scott Glenn
Length: 86 minutes
Rating: R
W.
Oliver Stone’s biopic of George W. Bush, however, is rather gentle on the president; and, while the film clearly paints Dubya as a fool and makes no excuses for the debacle that has been his presidency, it does offer a surprisingly sympathetic character study of the man behind the chaos. Told in a series of flashbacks that play as his greatest hits, W. portrays Bush (Josh Brolin) as a privileged yet decidedly lost soul. Stone makes light humor of the president’s frequent malapropisms and complete lack of intellectual curiosity, but he places the dramatic focus on Bush’s desperate attempts to get respect and acceptance from his father.
Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Richard Dreyfuss, Josh Brolin, Bruce McGill, Stacy Keach, James Cromwell, Scott Glenn
Length: 129 minutes
Rating: PG-13
Television
Tales from the Darkside: The First Season
Animation
Full Metal Panic: Fumoffu, Vol. 3
Moribito: Guardian of the Dark, Vol. 3
Najica Blitz Tactics: Complete Collection
Naruto Uncut Box Set, Vol. 12
Pet Shop of Horrors: Complete Collection
If you know of any major releases that I missed, mention it below.
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