Seeing as today is the anniversary of Xerox PARC introducing the computer mouse (1981) and World Graphic Design Day to boot, I thought I’d share a poem I wrote about graphic designers. It’s a parody of If You Give A Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff.
Written by Pipedreamergrey
for The Great Geek Manual
If you give a graphic designer a footer credit,
He’s going to ask to tack on his logo.
When you give him the logo. He’ll probably ask you for a link.
When he’s finished, he’ll need to clean up the site’s code.
Then, he will want to look at it on a local mirror to make sure the site still loading fast.
When he looks over the mirror site, he might notice that his margins need a trim.
So he will probably ask for an extra week to finish the job.
While he’s giving the margins a trim, he’ll want to touch up the typography. He’ll start editing. He might get carried away and edit every stylesheet on the site.
He may even end up reworking the HTML as well!
When he’s done, he’ll probably want to think on it. You will have to fix a little box for him with a virtual server. He’ll crawl over the site, make himself at home, and optimize the page load a few times.
He’ll probably ask you to review the site. So you’ll write him a critique of your new site, and he’ll ask to see the original graphic files. When he looks at the graphics, he’ll get so excited, he’ll want to incorporate a few of his own. He’ll ask for time and patience.
He’ll ‘shop a photo. When the photo is finished, he’ll want to add a copyright notice with his name. Then he’ll want to run the site on your server. Which means he will need… an SSH connection.
He’ll put up his website and stand back to look at it.
Looking at the website will remind him he’s running a business so… he’ll ask for more credit. And chances are if he asks for more credit, he’s going to want to a bigger logo to go with it.
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