Microsoft released its new operating system, Vista, on January 30, and yesterday, The Onion featured this list of new features bundled with Vista:
- Microsoft Word’s helpful paper-clip icon now blinks at rate of normal humans
- Enhanced graphics on “System Is Not Responding” pop-up window
- Five new card-back designs for Solitaire
- Something that Apple would never, ever dream up in a billion years
- 4,391 security flaws to be patched over next 15 years
- Promise of broad, open-minded future or some bullshit
- Lists blocked wireless connections with greater speed and accuracy
- New operating system, same old Microsoft Paint
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