I’m back! I just got my new computer up and running. A few weeks back, my desktop’s RAM went on the blink, leaving me stranded on my Asus netbook. While I could still do some light updating of my blog, my netbook’s tiny keyboard and screen made even the most commonplace activity a chore. So, I withdrew from most of my regular online activities rather abruptly, and I’ve been gone about three week since. And, while, in all reality, wasting less time vegging out in front of a monitor should have been good for me, what with all the extra time for exercise, fresh air, and visiting my family (HA HA), the fact of the matter is that it really, really sucked. Here’s why:
12. The six hundred Viagra sales pitches waiting in my Inbox.
11. My right index finger has atrophied noticeably.
10. My neighbors are all pissed off now that they’ve realized that their download speeds triple when I’m not online.
9. The folks down at the pet store don’t appreciate my LOLCat Speak nearly as much as my favorite forums.
8. Without an RSS Feed Reader, I had absolutely no idea what was going on in the world. When the guy at the airport gate asked me to drop my pants, I wasted five whole minutes trying to explain that I’m straight.
7. Demonoid finally came back online, but no one even noticed because I wasn’t there to seed anything! (Sorry! Your hentai is on its way!)
6. Thanks to the general anxiety and period twitching of my internet withdrawal, at least a dozen of my co-workers think I’ve just given up smoking and at least one suspects I’ve taken up crack.
5. I’m not going into details, but I’ve been permanently banned from Best Buy’s computer aisle.
4. I haven’t checked my e-mail in so long that three of the bots who pretend to be my girlfriend in order to get me to open spam have broken up with me!
3. For the first time in a decade, my parents saw a new movie before I did.
2. By the time I logged back onto World of Warcraft, all the members of my guild were talking about was how beautiful my avatar’s funeral had been.
1. After three weeks of being weirded out by my abnormally frequent real-word presence, I received a flurry of e-mails from my family e-mailed expressing their relief that I’m finally back online. Ingrates!
On the other hand, the way the economy has gone in the last month, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the value of land in Entropia Universe has risen so sharply against the value of actual property that now my virtual apartment is actually worth more than my real property. Ka-ching! Still, it’s good to be back. I was starting to feel all dirty from all that real world social interaction!
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