The Great Geek Manual

As you may have already heard, earlier this month, in Captain America 25, Cap was assassinated by a sniper. While Marvel has yet to release a funeral issue, as DC did with Superman back in 1993, my imagination has still been working overtime. Here are a few things I’ve imagined might be overheard at Cap’s last rites.

12. I hear Congress wants to posthumously rename him Captain United States of America to spite the terrorists.

11. It’s sad really. After sixty-six years of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” he never had a chance to tell Bucky how he really felt.

10. Look! Even up close I don’t see a fly! How the hell did he take a leak?

09. Wow, sixty-six years and he still never made Major!

08. With so many people here who can fly, you’d think there’d be more parking.

07. The irony is, the sniper was aiming for Bucky, and no one really would have minded that death.

06. All those elaborate schemes and it just took two bullets?! I bet the Red Skull is turning over in his grave.

05. Turns out, he really didn’t ever take that suit off, it’s actually grown into his skin.

04. So, which date did you pick for “The Return” pool?

03. So, as it turns out tights aren’t such great body armor after all.

02. Holy shit! Bucky outlived Captain America. I didn’t see that one coming.

01. Not really the same turn out Superman got, is it?

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“Recently Overheard: Captain America’s Funeral” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice and its associated hyperlink remains intact. Copyright 2007 Pipedreamergrey.