The Great Geek Manual

Movie: “Superman: Doomsday”

Tagline: “Where were you the day Superman died?”
Rating: PG-13
Release: September 18 (DVD)
Running Time: 1 hr 15 min
Starring: Adam Baldwin, Anne Heche, James Marsters … IMDB listing

Verdict: If you’re over the age twelve or an actual comic fan, you’ll want to take a pass on this direct-to-video disappointment.

Synopsis:
While constructing a covert subterranean power station, Lexcorp unearths a mysterious extraterrestrial artifact from which Doomsday emerges with the smallest of provocations. In an all too short battle sequence, Superman engages the creature, which he finishes off with a super orbital body-slam that levels a city block and leaves both combatants dead. As the world mourns their fallen hero, humanity realizes it will never feel truly safe again. As Lois Lane struggles to come to grips with Superman’s death, the city’s criminals run amok in a crime wave of unprecedented proportions. Just when Lois Lane teeters on the brink of death, though, Superman returns to save the day. But before long, serious doubts arise as to the authenticity of the city’s resurrected hero.

Review: I’m not one to frequently rent an animation on a Friday night, but Doomsday’s promise that it’s “Based from the award-winning ‘The Death of Superman’ trilogy” – some of the few comics in my collection that have become dogeared with use – was just to too great a temptation to pass up. Even upon closer examination, the production seemed equipped to to live up to its promise. It’s rated PG-13 for violence, something nearly unheard of for a Warner Brothers cartoon. It casts recognizable names as voice talent. It’s directed by Bruce Timm, whose work includes the Teen Titans, Justice League, and Batman animated series. Even the box art is cool.

However, five minutes into this travesty, it becomes abundantly clear that the promotional hype is an out right lie. This movie doesn’t bear even a passing resemblance to the “The Death of Superman” trilogy, with the sole exception of a thirty-second shot of a smoking crater with Superman’s torn cape billowing before it, which the movie’s commercials flog to death. This betrayal comes as a bitter disappointment to Superman fans still smarting from the blow the 2006 box office bomb, Superman Returns, dealt the Superman franchise, and yet, it might be understandable if only the deception were a play to draw fans to solidly written, well executed re-telling of the story. After all, reconceiving classic stories in new styles is not just a revered tradition in the comic industry, but also the medium’s greatest strength. But that’s not what has happened here.

Superman: Doomsday is slapdash attempt to cobble together a story out of shallowly rewritten dramatic sequences snatched from Superman comics preceding and following “The Death of Superman,” like voice overheard in another room – muddled and disjointed. Every time the storyline would seem to indicate an emotional reaction, the story pushes past the moment into an entirely new sequence before the audience has any opportunity to react. Superman dies, Superman is buried, Superman is commemorated, Jimmy quits his job at the Daily Planet, Ma Kent reacts, Perry realizes Clark has disappeared, and Lois returns to her job in the space of (without exaggeration) about three minutes about half way through the film. And if that had been the three minutes in the film, I would have love watching it on YouTube over and over again, but unfortunately, the plot drags on from there. The movie continues on with a series of action sequences are all too brief and a bit absurd in a way that doesn’t inspire laughter, dramatic sequences that lack gravity, and quite a bit of dry humor that completely lacks punch.

Even aside from the writing, which, even at its worst, runs circles around the last Superman release, Superman: Brainiac Attacks, this movie left a bad taste in my mouth. Anne Heche proved to be an utterly unconvincing Lois Lane, and the artists seemed a little too intent on making the movie appear to be an overly-long episode of Superman: The Animated Series for me not to expect a commercial break. My complaints are many and sundry, but I can only delude myself that someone is still reading for so long.

All in all, it was the sort of movie that sets a Geek to ranting, and not in a good way.