So, the big day is nearly here. In just under fourty-eight hours, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows will be unleashed upon the world, and for just a few short hours, the world will be a quieter, more peaceful place as millions upon millions of fans lock themselves away to do a little reading. Well before the unveiling, I, like half the Internet, wish to make my own predictions as to how the saga of Harry Potter will end.
Voldemort devises his most fiendish plot yet: “Accio Harry Potter’s Brain!”
Harry is killed on the way back to Hogwarts when Winki gets behind the wheel of a certain Ford Anglier drunk.
Draco Malfoy finally comes to his senses, buys himself a .45, and shoots Harry Potter in the head with his father. It’s fun.
Harry dies of a misfired Engorgio spell during a particularly intimate snogging session with Ginny following the defeat of Voldemort.
Hermionie turns out to be Harry’s long lost twin sister. Because, seriously, who the hell would fall in love with Ron with Harry around?
Harry dies from Sorcerous Sclerosis after seven years of guzzling butter beer, fire whiskey, mead, and “pumpkin juice” (also known as wizarding tequila) at every turn.
Just as Harry is about to throw the last Horcrux into the heart of Mount Doom, Kreature creeps up behind Harry, jumps him, and bites off his finger, seizing the Horcrux for himself before falling to his doom. As Harry begins to accept the inevitability of his own death, Buckbeak appears in the distance…
Read even more predictions at Seven Endings you didn’t See Coming for Harry Potter Seven!
“Seven Endings you didn’t See Coming for Harry Potter Seven, Redux” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice remains intact. Copyright 2007 Pipedreamergrey.
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