Managing your company’s IT department can be a challenge even at the best of times, but with the recent advances in computing, it has become all but impossible for those without training. To help out, I’ve posted a list of warning signs that may indicate that your IT department is getting out of hand.
13. The IT help page is pay-per-click
12. The help desk has been fitted with hydraulics and neon underbody lights.
11. All service requests must be made through the proper channel … inside World of Warcraft.
10. Your system login is your mother’s maiden name. Your password is your social security number.
09. Despite a rapidly expanding software budget, all software is written in house and, strangely, it’s all nagware.
08. There’s a cover charge to get into the IT department, and when you go to complain, you find out that you’re not “on the list”.
07. There are four portraits in the IT department break room: Steve Wozniak, Linus Torvalds, Steve Jobs and former Enron Executive Ken Lay.
06. Management complains constantly about slow network speeds, while legal complains about the steady stream of subpoenas rolling in from the RIAA.
05. The new security protocols call for financial penalties for anyone who introduces malware into the network, all proceeds are forwarded to an Entropia account.
04. Standard uniform for sales staff is a collared shirt and a name tag. Standard uniform for the IT department is a diamond studded iPod shuffle and a Pirate Bay t-shirt.
03. During the departments annual review, you discover filled requisition forms for a cappuccino machine, a plasma screen tv, a PlayStation 3, and a Wii, all signed “Lord Nikion.”
02. The entire department shuts down the second week in January for a pilgrimage to the Consumer Electronics Show. The department claims the week as a religious holiday.
01. The day after you deny the department a round of salary increases, the FBI knocks down your door and seizes your home computer in the course of investigating an identity theft ring.
“Signs that your IT Department is Getting out of Hand” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice remains in tact.