The Great Geek Manual

I came across this hilarious list at Hawty McBloggy’s blog. I think that they’re freaking brilliant, though I’m don’t think that I’ll be trying them out anytime soon. There are a few too many dudes masquerading as chicks for swag in virtual worlds these days for my taste. That and most of the chicks who are really chicks in world would kick my ass if I tried these.

I think something is wrong with my auto-aim. I can’t take my eyes off you.
This is one of those sickeningly cutesy lines. Very sweet and at least there is a zero chance you will get slapped.

Do you need a Magnum because I’ve got one right here for you. In my pants.
If you are going to use this line, you better have something large to back it up. You whip out something that does the damage of a H2 needler and there is going to be disappointment. The ladies want the long barrel.

As soon as I came near you, the announcer said “unfreakinbelievable” and I would tend to agree.
Another one that won’t be taken offensively. You will have a better chance of this line bringing success if you are actually on a killing spree. The ladies love a man with some serious skills.

Are we playing Assault? Cause I’m pretty sure you are the bomb.
This one is likely to get a cheesy response but inside she will be giggling. It may help if you say it kinda gangster. Da BOMB yo!

With the weapons I just need to hit “X” to pick them up. Does that work for you as well?
Very straight forward and your intentions are clear. If she shoots you down, make sure there is at least a power weapon close by. That way you can use the same technique on the rockets to make yourself feel a little better. Hey, at least you scored something.

You are impressed with how I handle my sniper? You should see what I can do with the weapon I pack under my armor.
You may be able to sell it, but make sure you can follow through as well. If the girls want your package, you better have a 10 star delivery.

I’m like a plasma grenade. Let me get on you and you are guaranteed to explode.
You may get hit with this one. You may also get lucky with it as well. Make sure you are good enough to back this one up on the slight chance your offer is accepted. You don’t just want to just bring her shields down, you want the bomb detonated explosion.

*eyeing the breast plate* I am a master dual wielder. Mind if I give those a go?
If you use this one, be sure to stand near a dual wieldable weapon. That way if she starts to raise her arm like she is going to hit you, you can back up and shout, “I was talking about that plasma rifle right there! Geez!”.

I was following the indicator of where to score and it brought me to you.
This one is direct and to the point without being horribly offensive. If she gets upset, just tell her you are new to the game, don’t know the map, and thought you were supposed to follow the icons.

I would like to gain access to your base. Shall I enter from the front or the rear?
This is a hilariously cheeky one. Use it on the girl who is defending the base to maximize your chances. Just watch out for a shotgun blast to the face as you come sneaking in. Access is not always granted.

Source: Again, these aren’t mine. I just love them. All credit belongs to Hawty McBloggy blog, “Gaming from a Female’s Perspective”