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Top Ten Signs An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You

8 Feb 2007  Humor

Astronaut Lisa NowakI’m not a huge David Letterman fan; I’m more of a Jay Leno and Conan O’Brien fan. Once in while, though, Letterman hits one out the ballpark. Tuesday’s top ten list is one of those times. Check it out.

10. Says, “This is a giant leap for mankind” as she tosses you off a bridge

9. You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house

8. She promises to “Take you out like Pluto”

7. It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you

6. You were on the “Maury” episode: “I Had A Booty Call And Now An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill Me”

5. Her previous attempts to kill you have been postponed due to high winds

4. She poisons your Tang

3. Says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse

2. Been getting threatening emails from Connie@International Space Station .com

1. She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside down



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