More than five years ago, I took part in a group chat with producer Ronald D. Moore over at the Sci Fi channel’s website just after the BattleStar Galactica remake had been announce, and there was nearly a unanimous outcry against the project. All fans were concerned about was the hundred myriad ways that the show might tarnish their memories of their beloved childhood fandom. Yet here we are, four seasons later, wishing it didn’t all have to end.
But for some, this may all be for the best, because the series is starting to have an adverse effect on some fans. If you’re wondering if you’re one of those who need to be weened away quickly onto something safer, such as, say a bit of Dollhouse, these are the leading warning signs:
10. You have vivid waking dreams of Tricia Helfer… No wait, that’s perfectly normal.
9. Having so many Starbucks around town finally begins to make sense.
8. You’ve started taunting all the pussies who still carry phasers at conventions.
7. You’ve taken the time to tear the corners off all the sheets of paper in your printer.
6. On the way home from work, you pull over to scout for the proper star configurations.
5. Upon purchasing a new appliance, you immediately call the manufacturer to make sure the appliance’s inhibitor chip is in place.
4. There are signs of machine gun strafing across the kitchen nook where your toaster used to be kept… the sneaky bastard.
3. Whenever your significant other begins talking in her sleep, you immediately begin asking her for directions.
2. You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because you need to change location every thirty-three minutes.
1. Anytime someone turns on a stereo in the next room, you begin wigging out because “There’s music IN THE FRAKING WALLS!”
…and finally, you know that you’re really, truly had waaay too much when…
In a desperate ploy to extend the BattleStar Galactica experience, you stubbornly hold fast to your theory that ties other franchises into the BSG storyline, claiming, for instance, that the only way they could possibly shoot a sequel to Donnie Darko is if Donnie were Roslin’s Cylon-hybrid love child.
“Top Ten Signs you’ve watched too much BattleStar Galactica” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice and its associated hyperlink remains intact. Copyright 2009 Pipedreamergrey.
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