My loyal readers may have noticed that I’ve been playing catch up with the Geek History entries for the past week. The reason, unfortunately, is that I was called for jury duty last Tuesday on strangely short notice.
Juries are one of the fundamental freedoms provided by the United States constitution, and I certainly don’t mind my doing my civic duty. I was actually looking forward to experience. It’s just that the reality of the situation is sooooo unpleasant. After a full week of reflection, though, I’m finally able to look upon the event with a bit of humor … so long as I’m not asked to repeat it anytime soon.
10. The hundred metal chairs in the jury services room with armrests not designed for love handles that left me feeling like a veal calf.
9. The female jurors who eyed me suspiciously, clutching their purses in a white-knuckled grip until they realized I was in the courthouse as a juror.
8. The one inevitable jackass dressed in a three-piece suit pacing around jury services shouting into his phone as if he was loosing millions over the one day’s inconvenience.
7. Having to use the downtown courthouse public bathrooms… where “Find me guilty and DIE!” is carved into the cinder block above every urinal.
6. Being walked to the juror’s bathroom by an enormous bailiff who found it necessary to come inside with me… lending credence to the messages.
5. The fact that the only magazines available in the jury service room were Cats & Kittens Magazine!
(Do they seriously have twenty subscriptions to this magazine or is it free?)
4. The three old ladies who kept (loudly) discussing the Turtle Lake nudist resort. (Seriously not cool)
3. The one really hot chick in the jury pool who wouldn’t join in the discussion.
2. The sarcastic hippie who evidently didn’t believe in deodorant sitting on the courtroom bench next to me.
1. Being stared at by a schizophrenic murderer/rapist with a very loud, nervous laugh all damn day long.
“Top Ten Things I Hated about Jury Duty” was written by Pipedreamergrey and originally posted to The Great Geek Manual. It may be reposted so long as this notice and its associated hyperlink remains intact. Copyright 2007 Pipedreamergrey.
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